The Simple Life
Every week I speak on the phone to my friend back in Scotland. Sometimes we speak for one, perhaps two to three hours. We were both going through it and in choosing to be grateful for what we had, the privileges we were allotted, and our love for the simple things in life, our friendship grew. What I love most about our friendship is we can speak for hours and not speak of or about anyone else. We may mention the main players in our life (family, colleagues, etc) but, it is never in an ill light. We speak of situations and how we can grow from them, or what we have learned or discovered about ourselves in the process because, in the end, the only alterable player in the situation is ourselves.
I smile as I think of my simple life. Some get quite fearful of having a simple, undramatic life; I adore it. In my experience, where life has been greatly altered by others’ unfortunate choices and misguided motives, I found myself no longer wanting to choose life. That was far greater a tragedy than any violence my person endured. It was an arduous journey to acknowledge the pain of suffering and to not attach myself to it. In my experience, when one has endured the unfortunate atrocities of the ugliness of human nature, it is little moments of love that remind you that your pain is not your identity. However much it may try to convince you.
I am grateful for all my experiences, especially the most painful ones. Despite them, I choose to smile and offer love to balance the imbalance of cruelty endured. I cannot control how someone behaves or the choices they make, I can only choose how to respond.
This is why I chose the simple life, and I will continue to choose it. I loved my life in Scotland. I would walk several miles every day and commune in nature daily. The dramatic change in weather moment by moment kept you in the present moment. The phrase, “there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes,” was daily life. I loved how it could be pouring down with rain in one part of the country yet, if you had the ability and privilege to drive, you could go to another part of the country and experience blue skies. Village life was simple and nourishing. The daily chat with the shopkeepers, helping a lost tourist, running into neighbours on the street; life was beautiful. Yet, at the tail end of a very difficult 3 years, all the nature in the world could not offer the support found within my family. I learned from living in three different countries how unique and special it is to have a truly supportive family. A family that, when it all goes pear-shaped, they rally and are there for you – no questions asked. 2022 was a year but, it was the year that I learned how unique a family like mine is. They are not perfect, far from it but, when I returned last summer bruised and beaten by life, feeling like a feral animal that does not know how to accept or let in love, they loved me anyway. I am incredibly grateful.
Life in Los Angeles is noisy. I miss the quiet solitude of the woods, being serenaded by the birds. I miss the vibrant colours of green, the smell of a changing woodland, and the dramatic way the light plays with the clouds. However, I have the memories that keep me. I close my eyes and imagine I am back sitting on a mossy rock, feeling the support of the ground beneath my feet. It is hard to go anywhere without strangers inches away from you here, which I find extremely overwhelming but, I am learning to find comfort in the discomfort. It is all learning, all an opportunity for continued growth and I am grateful.
Yes, I intend to return to a simple life once grad school is finished, as I intend to continue to cultivate one whilst I am in this current state of being. I am still finding the places where there are few people and I can be alone with my thoughts or have deep, intimate conversations in privacy. I have one place but, as with anything in Los Angeles, it is a drive on the opposite side of the city. However, it is worth the pilgrimage as it is a beautiful place to meditate.
I leave you with this: please understand, my simple life will look different than yours. Sharing my thoughts on this is not a prescription for how a simple life will look. My idea of a simple life is my own and what works for me. Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to reflect on what you want your life to look and feel like, day in and day out.
May you create the life of your choosing that cultivates happiness and nourishes your well-being.
With love,
M x